Here’s the Story of a Lovely Lady…

My father definitely traded up the second time around.

Truly!

BUT, saying that is to do my stepmother a disservice.

You see, Mom set the bar so low that anything short of a serial killer would have been a step up.

Yup.

So, let’s try this a different way.

Imagine that your Dad has picked you and your little sister up for the weekend but he is being all mysterious and everything.

“Dad, where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”, he answered with a small yet mischievous smile.

Oh-Oh!  That usually meant we were going to get stuck at some auction for the weekend or in a tent at a bluegrass festival. While I enjoyed them, I WAS 13 and teenagers are NOT supposed to like such stuff.

“Dad? Grandma lives the other direction.”

“We are not going to your Grandmother’s this weekend.”

“Then, where?”

“You’ll see.”

Normal suburbia surrounded us. People sitting on lawn chairs and mowing lawns and walking their dogs. It was like entering another world.

So there we are – taken from the chaos which was life with our mother – and suddenly plopped down in a house in suburban Columbus that could have come straight from “The Brady Bunch” and introduced to Carol Brady, er, I mean, Rosemary.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. My father had never introduced us to someone he was dating before. And, well, when you lived with Mom, all of your hackles were up all the time.

So, there we are plopped down in the middle of a living room straight out of “Bewitched” and here we are being introduced to a beautiful, intelligent woman with an honest grin and have absolutely no idea how to behave.

A woman with a genuine laugh and smile made me so suspicious. You wondered when the other shoe would drop.

To better explain, let me use some ‘60’s and 70’s TV shows.

Imagine your home life resembled “Dark Shadows” Weird, creepy things occurring all around that never had a real explanation. Strange people popping in and out. The police showing up at the oddest times.  More like “Dark Shadows” meets “The Twilight Zone” meets “Dragnet”.

Imagine you are propelled from that reality into a version of “The Love Boat” meets “The Brady Bunch” meets “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”.

Yes, Rosemary is an extraordinary, beautiful, and loving woman but do you know what her main strength in?

Rosemary is normal.

And do you know how she broke the ice?

“Micheal, do you want a cookie?”

I love my stepmother.