Tag: dementia

Growing up I was told over and over that there are things you should always be ashamed of:

Psycho mom…

Haunted house…

Being gay…

The last one was the one that had the most effect. I could not tell anyone I was gay growing up for fear of being exiled like my uncle or commiting the greatest sin possible at Big Walnut High School…

Being different.

So I hid it. Ignored it. And just tried to find something else to think about.

But times change and I started to come out during college. As some of you who have read my book know I told my Dad about it and he was really, really great about it. He made me aware that no matter what happened I was still his son.

And he was always my Dad.

As some of you are also aware, my Dad is now in a memory facility. He is slowly fading and more often than not he calls me by my brother’s name BUT he is still my Dad and we still sing country songs whenever we see each other.

However, he does something that makes me smile and feel loved every time I hear about it.

I was talking to my cousin Robert today and what he said made me smile. You see, my Dad has developed a little quirk as his memory has faded.

“Micheal, you know, the last time I talked to your Dad, he insisted on telling me that you were gay. As a matter of fact, he tells me that every time he sees me as if he never had before.”

Yeah, I knew.

It turns out the fact that I am not ashamed of being gay and that I told my Dad so long ago has actually become a matter of pride for my father over the years.

So, every time, I go to see him at the care facility, he insists on introducing me to each of the staff as if for the first time – even if I have already met them dozens of times before.

Dad puffs himself up proudly and he says. “This is my son, Micheal. AND HE”S GAY!” and says it in such a way that he is daring anyone to object!

I have now heard him do this hundreds of times.

I LOVE MY DAD!

copyright 2020 M.J. Hobbs