A Life In Lyrics

Music has always been a big part of my life for as far back as I can remember.

After all of the time I spent driving with Dad in his old pickup listening to songs on the radio and all of time I spent watching Mom cavort around the living room to Elvis blaring as loud as possible on that old stereo, it would probably be a miracle if I didn’t like music.

So, I decided to try an experiment: I am going to tell the story of my life in song lyrics.

The only rules are:

The song cannot be too obscure.
The songs do not have to be in chronological order.
The lyrics tell the story but may be taken out of context.

So, let’s start:

Introduction:

“My name is Micheal.

I got a nickel.

I got a nickel

Shiny and new…”

Clint Holmes – Playground In My Mind (1972)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BolPQL83hFA

My earliest memory of Dad:

“Movin’ right along
Footloose and fancy-free
Getting there is half the fun, come share it with me
Movin’ right along
We’ll learn to share the load
We don’t need a map to keep this show on the road”

Movin’ Right Along (From “The Muppet Movie”/Soundtrack Version)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6NQcO9KTBY)

My earliest memory of Mom:

“Every breath you take and every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you
Every single day and every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay, I’ll be watching you.”

The Police – Every Breath You Take

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs

Earliest School Memory:

“When I think of home
I think of a place where there’s love overflowing
I wish I was home
I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing”

Stephanie Mills – Home (Official Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjMGYw7XyTU)

Earliest Memory of my older brother:

“Leave me alone, won’t you leave me alone
Please leave me alone, now leave me alone
Oh leave me alone, please leave me alone, yes leave me
Leave me alone, won’t you leave me alone
Please leave me alone, now leave me alone
God leave me alone, just leave me alone, oh leave me”

Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULKEBJRC0gs)

When we moved to the country at age seven:

“Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do,
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you”

Stuck in the Middle with you – Stealers Wheel

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMAIsqvTh7g)

Realizing my new teacher hated me:

“Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter
Girls as sharp as her are somethin’ rare
But it’s sad, she doesn’t love me now
She’s made it clear enough it ain’t no good to pine.”

Hermans Hermits – Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter 1965

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA1uknS9JgM)

Realizing my mother had mental issues:

“Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly”

Gnarls Barkley – Crazy (Official Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N4jf6rtyuw)

Spending time with Dad:

“Well the midnight headlights blind you on a rainy night
Steep grade up ahead, slow me down, makin’ no time,
But I got to keep rollin’
Those windshield wipers slappin’ out a tempo,
Keepin’ perfect rhythm with the song on the radio,
But I got to keep rollin’”

Eddie Rabbit “Driving My Life Away”

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tvEvBUG8mY)

Loving Grandma:

“When I was a little bitty boy just up off the floor
We used to go down to grandma’s house every month end or so
We’d have chicken pie, country ham
Homemade butter on the bread
But the best darn thing about grandma’s house
Was the great big feather bed.”

John Denver – Grandma’s Feather Bed

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRTxRjOg5m0)

Realizing Mom was a slut:

“She’s just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
She’s gonna get you
She’s just a devil woman
With evil on her mind
Beware the devil woman
She’s gonna get you from behind”

Cliff Richard – Devil Woman (Official Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgomTOOgl8M)

Realizing I was a nerd:

“Ever since I was a young boy
I’ve played the silver ball
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played ’em all
But I ain’t seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall”

Elton John – 10) Pinball wizard

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joxyFDmh_LY)

Mom’s legal aberrations:

“My house! Is out of the ordinary
That’s right! Don’t wanna hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house”

Talking Heads – Burning Down the House (Official Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3eC35LoF4U)

My parents announce their divorce:

“Daddy, don’t you walk so fast
Daddy, don’t you walk so fast
Daddy, slow down some ’cause you’re makin’ me run
Daddy, don’t you walk so fast.”

Daddy Don’t You Walk So Fast, Tony Christie

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh8hviz6iaU)

Finding the science museum (COSI) that I worked at during high school:

“We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we’ve both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together”

Pat Benatar – We Belong (Official Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxZInIyOBXk)

Realizing I was Gay:

“I am what I am.

And what I am needs no excuses.

I deal my own deck.

Sometimes the ace.

Sometimes the deuces”

I Am What I Am – George Hearn – La Cage Aux Folles

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIZ_833XP_I)

Dad gets remarried (for the second and final time):

“Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!”

Frozen Sing-Along Edition – Love is an Open Door

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQDw88hEr2c)

Mom gets remarried (second for six):

“Woo hoo, witchy woman
See how high she flies
Woo hoo, witchy woman
She got the moon in her eye”

Witchy Woman Eagles 1976

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc0988XxoXI)

I leave home to study archaeology at Beloit:

“King Tut (King Tut)
Now when he was a young man,
He never thought he’d see
People stand in line to see the boy king.
(King Tut) How’d you get so funky?
(Funky Tut) Did you do the monkey?
Born in Arizona,
Moved to Babylonia (King Tut).”

King Tut – SNL

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYbavuReVF4)

Mom’s second husband dies “mysteriously” one month after I leave for college:

“He had it comin’
He had it comin’
He only had himself to blame
If you’d have been there
If you’d have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same”

Chicago – Cell Block Tango

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c2bKZMxEQg)

The FBI calls college looking for Mom and her third husband:

“Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there”

Soul Asylum – Runaway Train (Official Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRtvqT_wMeY)

I graduate college:

“Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing
Praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the World”

Cat Stevens – Morning Has Broken

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZAsfB1Np-8)

I fall in love for the first time:

“I love rock n’ roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n’ roll
So come an’ take your time an’ dance with me”

Joan Jett – I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8oP4Z_xPw)

I meet my best friend Larry Sherwood:

“Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant

I’m not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won’t you stand up and take a bow?”

Andrew Gold – Thank You For Being A Friend (Official Music Video)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voNEgCKzves)

I lose my job and get dumped by my first boyfriend on the same day:

“I see you driving ’round town
With the girl I love and I’m like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn’t enough I’m like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
Said, if I was richer, I’d still be with ya
Ha, now ain’t that some shit? (ain’t that some shit?)
And although there’s pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a
Fuck you!”

Cee Lo Green – FUCK YOU

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU)

And I became a Bob Evans Farms Restaurant manager:

Food, glorious food!
Hot sausage and mustard!
While we’re in the mood —
Cold jelly and custard!

Oliver! – Food, Glorious Food

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEQDllvuy1I

And I was off to West Virginia for the next chapter of my life!:

Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, growin’ like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain mama
Take me home, country roads

John Denver – Take Me Home, Country Roads (Audio)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vrEljMfXYo

Here Endeth Chapter One!

The Last Word

When I first hear that someone has passed away unexpectedly, there are many things that run through my mind. How did it happen? How is their family taking it? What was their legacy?

One other thing always runs through my mind:

What were the last words that I spoke with them?

Were they words of anger?

Were they words of love?

Were the words we spoke stupid?

Were they profound?

As a few of you know, my family had an unexpected death recently. My stepbrother, Ken, passed away alone but peacefully and it has caused me to look back on our last meeting and ponder.

Ken and I were almost exact contemporaries. We were the same age and born in the same year. We were even roughly the same height and build. He had a bigger smile and I had more hair.

During high school, Ken was the guy I always wanted to be. He was popular and had loads of friends. He was always the life of their party.

Oh, and he loved the Beatles.

Over the 41 years that our parents have been married, we saw each other frequently or infrequently as our lives progressed. But, hey, that’s how families are, right?

41 years of ups and downs and just plain life.

The last time I saw Ken was last Thanksgiving. My family had chosen to meet at the memory care facility where my Dad is staying and to share a stress free holiday meal.

All of us sat around the table and talking and telling stories. Heck, we even all got to sing “The Gambler” when my Dad got started so we all sang along.

I remember Ken smiling as the whole table sang “You gotta know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em…”.

We had a good time and the laughs were plenty.

Ken and I were the last ones out of the compound as my stepsister helped my stepmother to the car and then home.

We were walking across the parking lot when it happened.

Ken turned to me and said “Hey, Micheal?”

“Yeah, Ken?”

“Love ya, Bros.”

I was taken a bit aback, but…

“Love you, too.”

And we parted.

On the way home, it struck me. In the 41 years our parents have been married, that was the first time we had ever said that.

Those were also the last words we ever spoke to each other … and they were perfect.

“Love you, Bros.”

“Love you, too.”

Tales From An Old Ford

Some memories never fade.

They just crystallize and sparkle in our memories.

I love music.

And I grew up on a farm.

Put those together and what do you get?

Yup.

My favorite memories of all time consist of me and my Dad driving around in that old Ford pickup of his at 80 miles an hour down a country road and singing at the top of our voices.

Imagine a ten year old kid hanging out the window singing at the top of his voice while a smiling giant drives away like a shot!

I fell in to a burning Ring of Fire

I went down, down, down.

But the flames went higher…”

Then…
“Welcome to the Hotel California..

Such a lovely place

Such a lovely face…”

And…
“Sweet Home, Alabama

I’m comin’ home to you.”

Even –
“We all live in a Yellow Submarine!

A Yellow Submarine!

A Yellow Submarine!”

“Sing it out, Micheal John!”, my Dad would shout.

Elvis led to Johnny Cash to Merle Haggard to Warren Zevon. Even Elton John!

It always brings a smile to my face thinking about those Autumn nights driving like a bat out of hell and singing as loud as we could – with my Dad, this HUGE smile on his face and his eyes a twinkling!

I imagined us leaving some sparkling trail like a comet streaking through space…….

But time passes…

(Sigh)

As some of you may know, we have had to recently place my father in a memory facility. It was one of the most difficult and guilt-ridden decisions of my life.

Over the last few years, his recollection has faded. His gait started to waiver and the 6’4” near giant had become an old man who depended on a walker.

Those sparkling eyes had started to fade and the light became intermittent. He spent most of his time in a chair watching golf tournaments.

One of the things the care center suggests is that you talk to your loved one about good memories and show them pictures. So, I brought my laptop and flipped through pictures of Dad and my stepmother at college graduation, holidays, cookouts – you name it.

And every so often, I would see a little sparkle but then it would fade quickly. Again and again I saw it but it ran off.

“Is golf on?” he would ask just before he called me by my brother’s name.

Last weekend, I took him out shoe shopping. His first job after the Army was in an old shoe factory in Columbus, Ohio. He told me stories about the factory while we shopped but then he stopped and faded.

Dad had asked me to stop in a Tim Horton’s and grab a dozen donuts but we got stuck in the drive-through.

So, I started telling stories. And the spark came up again.

“Hey, Dad, remember when Mom planted pot out behind the barn?” That got the spark and a shrug.

“What was the name of the old dog we used to have? You remember that old furry mutt?” He looked at me and looked away.

I was getting down so I started to hum.

My father’s face turned to me.

Why, not?
“I fell into a burning ring of fire…” He smiled a bit.
“I went down, down, down but the flames went higher.” He started to sing but turned away.

Try another-
“You gotta know when to hold ‘em

Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run…”

“I’m stuck in Folsom Prison

As time keeps dragging on…”

I saw his fingers start to tap then he turned away.

Then, a light came on in my head.

“Awooooooooooooo!

Werewolves of London!

Awooooooooooooo!”

Yeah!

He turned back and the light was there and his smile grew!

“Micheal John – “And his hair was perfect!”

The transformation was amazing! A door opened!

And he sang!

“Awoooooooooooooooooooooo!

Werewolves of London!”

Now, imagine that each and every one one of you is sitting in the cab of a beat up old Ford pickup truck.

Darkness has fallen and the windows are open. The wind is blowing a thousand miles an hour…

The music is blaring and you are SOARING through the night leaving a blazing trail behind you!

Now, look to your left…

Do you know who that smiling giant driving and singing is?

“Awoooooooooooooooooooooo!

Werewolves of London!”

THAT’S MY DAD!!!!!

“Awoooooooooooooooooooo! “

YEAH!